When it rains, it pours...

So I said I would write, and I never did. But I do have some very valid excuses, or rather, valid reasons...

Excuses are not pretty, but reasons sound more professional...

In the interest of honesty towards you strangers, I'm gonna tell y'all ALL about it today... so here I go:

Mid October, I had a miscarriage. Boo-hoo... don't get me wrong, it was a very traumatic, scary and sad event, but it was just another sad event to add up to the '09 fall events for me. A month earlier, I buried my grand-father, who really was the best and closest thing I had to a dad all my life.

So yeah, I depressed. The whole was deep and it was dark. My J and I kept fighting or rather, I kept looking for reasons to make him hate me. My little She-devil got on my nerves and my patience was wearing REALLY thin... I felt completely overwhelmed and cried everyday. It was really hard, and still is.

So here it goes, last week I went to my ob/gyn because I was feeling all but normal down-there. Turns out I was already over 4 weeks preggo! How that happened? I. don't. know.

Well I know how I got there, but I don't know how it's physically possible. Anyways, on that same day, my J was on his way to his uncle's, one of the men I admire most in life, funeral. And I had to stay back with She-devil...

So? it may be a blessing in disguise, you say. Well it would if the fetus was developing properly... and according to doc dearest, I have 25% chance of miscarriage AGAIN! Cause, you know, it's really what I feel I can handle right now!

So yeah this whole therapeutic blogging thing just isn't working as I had imagined. Maybe I should just find a subject for this rather then just rant... but then again, it feels nice to put it out there...